A Lady Unexpectedly Farted In A Fancy Store. When She Turned Around, This Happened

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a Salesman standing right behind her – Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.  He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help You today?   Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘what is the price of this Lovely bracelet?’
He answers, “Madam – if you farted just looking at it – you’re going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!”

The Grinch Cocktail

The Grinch (great served with Grinch cookie) recipe here

• 3 oz peach schnapps
• 3 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
• 12 oz orange juice
• 4 oz Sprite® soda
• 3 oz Blue Curacao liqueur

1. Mix in a large pitcher and serve

Source:  Design Loves Detail

http://www.designlovesdetail.com/2012/12/21/a-toast-to-you-holiday-drink-recipes/

Email: Company Holiday Party

And that's why the company never has parties anymore.

Alluring Lullaby

Alluring Lullaby

1 oz. (30ml) Viniq Liqueur 1/2 oz. (30ml) Hpnotiq Liqueur 1/2 oz. (15ml) Plum Vodka Cranberry Sprite Purple and White Sugar











Source:  Tipsy Bartender https://www.youtube.com/user/TipsyBartender

The best remedies for heartburn

You don't need to be a doctor to know how to relieve the temporary discomfort of heartburn. Occasional heartburn is manageable and preventable, but persistent attacks offer clues that something else is going on.


There are a number of heartburn triggers including being overweight, overeating, high acid food, stress, and alcohol. Heartburn can even be triggered by some prescription medications. Whether looking into medicine or a lifestyle change, there are many ways to get relief.

I’m in pain – SOS!

Simple solutions and natural remedies you can introduce into your daily routine.
Drink 1 cup of water or alkaline vegetable juice (carrot, cucumber, beetroot and radish).
Chew gum to increase saliva flow and neutralize acid.
Drink plenty of tea. Among some of the most effective herbs and plants are ginger, mint, anise, cinnamon, cardamom and marshmallow root.
Eat a banana to either relieve or prevent symptoms.
Mix 1 tablespoon of baking soda, and a few drops of lemon juice in a glass of water; drink it immediately before it fizzes out.
Dilute 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in ¼ cup of water; drink it 30 minutes after your meal to prevent an attack.
Mix 1 oz of aloe gel with 2 oz of water.
Eat oats (oatmeal) for breakfast.
Have a (fat-free) yogurt a day.

What habits I need to change?

Avoid fatty or acidic foods.
Reduce or stop your use of tobacco and alcohol.
Eat lighter meals but more frequently throughout the day.
Lose weight.
Avoid eating at least 3 hours before bedtime.
Stack your pillows, or place a book under the head of your mattress to create an inclination while you sleep.
Lie on your left side to provide stomach support and help eliminate acid.
Replace your table salt (acid) with sea salt (alkaline).
Eat foods rich in glutamine: eggs, milk, fish, and spinach.

Over-the-counter antacid medicine

If natural remedies are not doing the trick, pharmaceuticals (e.g. Maalox, Tums, Rolaids, Gaviscon, Zantac, Pepto, Bismol, etc.) offer temporarily but effective relief. There’s a very wide selection of antacids and acid blockers available on the market, so don’t hesitate to ask your pharmacist for recommendations.

Persistent burning symptoms despite everything

You should be evaluated by a physician if you experience persistent discomfort, especially lasting more than a week. Symptoms such as abdominal pain, vocal inflammation (raspy voice), changes in appetite, difficulty swallowing and weight loss may overlap with chronic heartburn. If you’ve modified your habits, used known remedies but still suffer from stomach irritation, it’s time to make an appointment and get treatment.


Source:  http://www.yellowpages.ca/tips/the-best-remedies-for-heartburn/?ypmedium=tdpartner&ypsource=taboola&ypterm=dailymail-row

Hood Translations

If the gender roles were reversed

Representations of Gender in Advertising

This culture jam is a school project that was created for a Women and Gender Studies class at the University of Saskatchewan by Sarah Zelinski, Kayla Hatzel and Dylan Lambi-Raine.
We wanted to show how ridiculous media portrays gender roles and stereotypes in advertising through presenting gender roll reversals.

The first citation of OMG

The first citation of OMG in the Oxford English Dictionary appears in a 1917 letter from the British admiral John Arbuthnot Fisher to Winston Churchill. He writes, “I hear that a new order of Knighthood is on the tapis–O.M.G. (Oh! My God!)–Shower it on the Admiralty!!” The fact that Fisher, who was 76 at the time, defines OMG in his letter suggests that he thought Churchill might be unfamiliar with the term.

Source

Amazing box invention

Amazing box... doesn't it make you wonder why no one thought of this before!!!???

Global Be(er) Responsible Day

“Friends Are Waiting” | Budweiser

White Knight, Spaceship 2 Virgin Galactic and Virgin Airlines

San Francisco's Airline Unveils Beautiful and Sustainable New Terminal 2 Home and Celebrates with a "Fly into the Future" Fare Sale Virgin America's First Arriving Terminal 2 Flight to Fly and Land alongside Virgin Galactic's WhiteKnightTwo and Space.

Parallel landing with White Knight and Spaceship 2

Enthusiastic Run to The Water

This lab can't wait to get to the water.  It's adorable!

Chihuahua vs Great Dane

Watch what happens when a super tiny chihuahua attacks a great dane.

Cuteness overload!



Chihuahua versus Great Dane in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Adorable Puppy Talking in His Sleep

Mother & Father Days

Yesterday was Father's Day and there was a gazzillion posts on social media about how wonderful 'dad' is.  Wonderful memories shared with the world - light hearted and cheerful.  Those are the kind of memories I don't have.  Mine are like, "hey remember the time dad beat me so bad I was taken to the hospital",  or "remember how much fun it was for you to be chained to your bed?", "I bet getting thrown out of the house and sleeping on the ground outside our apartment building was like camping eh!!!"

I find it hard to believe people didn't hear the screaming specially when we lived in an apartment building in Toronto.  Hard to believe the social workers didn't take us away earlier... years earlier!  Harder to believe that people looked down on me like I was diseased because they all stood by, did nothing, watched the abuse and to comfort and live with their hurting conscience, turned the blame on the victim (me!).

So father's day and mother's day to me is memories of being in the bedroom almost all the time, playing quietly and staying away from the parents.  Being dressed up and paraded with instructions not to say or do anything to embarrass the mom - everything is beyond good and normal - we're very happy and living the good life (we played your game so well mom).

I wonder how much of these things I carried into my own parenting behaviour with my own kids.   Between my own upbringing and a futile attempt for years to fit in and be accepted by the in-laws who hate me, I believe I may have screwed up a lot.   

No point asking

Pink Zebra Cake

Pink Zebra Cake By Jenn from Cookies, Cupcakes and Cardio

For directions, visit the original site directly

Lasagna Roll Ups

Ingredients

8 lasagna noodles, uncooked
14 oz freshly shredded, low-moisture part skim Mozzarella cheese, divided
3/4 cup Ricotta cheese
1 large egg white
1/3 cup freshly, finely shredded Parmesan cheese (about 1 1/4 oz)
freshly ground black pepper
3 - 4 medium Roma tomatoes, thinly sliced (about 1/6 inch thick slices)
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil, plus more for garnish
1 cup marinara sauce, recipe follows
Simple Marinara Sauce
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup finely chopped yellow onion
2 cloves garlic finely minced
1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cook pasta according to directions listed on package to al dente.
Drain pasta (DO NOT rinse with water) and align lasagna noodles in a single layer on a large sheet of parchment or wax paper.

For filling, in a large mixing bowl, whisk together ricotta cheese and egg white until well blended. Stir in Parmesan cheese.
Mix in 12 oz. of the Mozzarella cheese and season with black pepper to taste (I wouldn't recommend seasoning with salt just because the cheeses already have plenty of salt).
Place 1/4 cup of the cheese mixture over each lasagna noodle and spread into an even layer, going from one end of the lasagna to the other.
Align 4 thin tomato slices over cheese mixture then sprinkle fresh basil over top.
Snugly roll lasagna noodles to opposite end.
Spread about 1/4 cup pasta sauce in the bottom of an 11 x 7 inch baking dish.
Align lasagna roll ups, seam side down in dish.
Top each roll up with about 2 Tbsp of the pasta sauce (covering edges of pasta so they don't dry out while baking).
Sprinkle top with remaining 2 oz. shredded Mozzarella.
Bake in preheated oven 30 minutes.
Remove from oven, plate pasta and garnish with plenty of basil ribbons.
Serve warm.

Simple Marinara Sauce
Heat olive oil in a medium saucepan over medium high heat.
Add onions to hot oil and saute about 3 minutes until soft, adding garlic during last minute of sautéing.
Pour in crushed tomatoes and season with salt and pepper to taste.
Bring mixture just to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer and allow sauce to cook for about 25 - 30 minutes (which will allow some of the water in crushed tomatoes to evaporate) while you prepare pasta and lasagna filling (you can freeze or refrigerate left over sauce in a small airtight container for later use, adding fresh basil if desired).

Portobello, Eggplant, and Roasted Red Pepper Panini

Recipe by emariejon 

"Tangy three cheese and Mediterranean vegetable panini."

Ingredients

Original recipe makes 4 sandwiches

2 red bell peppers
4 portobello mushroom caps
1 cup fat-free balsamic vinaigrette 
4 slices (1/2 inch thick) eggplant (peeled)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
2 teaspoons grated parmesan cheese
8 slices focaccia bread
1/4 cup fat free ranch dressing
4 thin slices swiss cheese
4 thin slices asiago cheese

Directions

1. Preheat the oven's broiler and set the oven rack at about 6 inches from the heat source. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.
2. Cut the peppers in half from top to bottom; remove the stem, seeds, and ribs, then place the peppers cut sides down onto the prepared baking sheet.
3. Cook under the preheated broiler until the skin of the peppers has blackened and blistered, about 5 minutes. Place the blackened peppers into a bowl, and tightly seal with plastic wrap. Allow the peppers to steam as they cool, about 20 minutes. Once cool, remove the skins and discard. Refrigerate overnight.
4. Place the portobello mushroom caps into a resealable plastic bag, and pour in the balsamic vinaigrette. Squeeze out excess air, and seal. Marinate overnight in the refrigerator.
5. The following day, preheat an electric double sided grill (such as George Foreman® grill) according to manufacturers' directions. Sprinkle the eggplant slices with garlic powder and onion powder.
6. Remove the portobello mushrooms from the marinade, and discard the remaining marinade. Cook on the preheated grill until tender 4 to 5 minutes. Cook the eggplant slices on the preheated grill until tender 4 to 5 minutes. Remove, set onto a plate, and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Set aside.
7. To assemble the sandwiches, spread each slice of focaccia with ranch dressing. Place a slice of cheese on each piece of bread. Place the eggplant slices, roasted peppers, and a portobello mushroom onto four of the slices of bread. Top with the remaining bread.
8. Spray the double sided grill with cooking spray, and cook the sandwiches until the cheese has melted, the sandwiches are hot in the center, and the bread is golden brown, 4 to 5 minutes.
9. Source: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/portobello-eggplant-and-roasted-red-pepper-panini/detail.aspx

Skinny Broccoli Salad

Ingredients

• 2 stalk(s) uncooked broccoli, Chopped 
• 1 head(s) (medium) uncooked cauliflower, Chopped 
• 1/2 cup(s) sweet red pepper(s), Chopped 
• 1/2 cup(s) green pepper(s), Chopped 
• 1 large fresh tomato(es), chopped 
• 1/2 large uncooked red onion(s), Chopped 
• 1 item(s) (large) large canned ripe black olive(s), 1 cup chopped 
• 1/2 cup(s) low-fat shredded cheddar cheese 
• 1 1/2 cup(s) fat free Ranch dressing (I changed the dressing to Ranch because I liked it better with Ranch.) 

Instructions
Blanch the broccoli and cauliflower and then chop. 

Place everything in a large bowl, add the dressing and toss. 

Refrigerate for 4 hours and serve.

Easy Dessert

Easy as Pie filling cake: (stole it from my sister)
If you need to make a great dessert in a pinch! 

Ingredients: 

4 cups mini-marshmallows 

1 chocolate cake mix, 

1 can cherry pie filling, 

1 large container of Cool Whip 

Directions: 

Pour four cups of mini-marshmallows into a greased 9x13 inch cake pan. 

Prepare chocolate cake mix according to directions on package. 

Pour over marshmallows. 

Spoon cherry pie filling evenly over cake. 

Bake at 350 degrees F for about 50 minutes...or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. 

COOL~ Top with Cool Whip. 

Serves 15. 

Variations:  

peach or strawberry pie filling with vanilla cake mix

apple pie filling with spiced or carrot cake mix.

by Suzen Brimacomb 

(https://www.facebook.com/barjong.singer)

Turmeric Dressing

Ingredients

1 cup white vinegar (must be raw, unfiltered) (Get Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar instead)
1 cup water
1 1/2 heads of garlic
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon salt
1 small rhizome of turmeric (or 2 tablespoons dry powdered turmeric)
2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 cup olive oil

In a blender mix the turmeric, garlic, water, and oil.

Add the vinegar and other ingredients and mix well.

Add more salt if necessary

Yields 3 cups

20 Health Benefits of Turmeric

The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.

The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer's disease.

Here are 20 health benefits of turmeric:

1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.
2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.
3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.
4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.
5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.
6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.
7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.
8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.
9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.
10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.
11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.
12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.
14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.
16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.
17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.
18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.
19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.
20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.

Contraindications: Turmeric should not be used by people with gallstones or bile obstruction. Though turmeric is often used by pregnant women, it is important to consult with a doctor before doing so as turmeric can be a uterine stimulant.

Strawberry Rose with Chocolate Pudding

Ingredients

Pudding

• 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted
• 2 cups whole milk
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• Pinch salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Topping

• 1 package Driscoll's Strawberries (16 ounces)
• 8 fresh mint leaves

Instructions

Pudding
Melt chocolate. 
Whisk together 1/2 cup milk and cornstarch.
Bring remaining 1 1/2 cups milk, sugar, cocoa and salt just to a simmer over medium heat. 
Stir cornstarch mixture then add to milk mixture in saucepot and bring to a boil, whisking constantly. Cook 1 minute. 
Remove from heat and stir in melted chocolate and vanilla. 
Spoon into glasses. 
Cover surface directly with plastic wrap to prevent skin from forming. 
Chill.

Topping
Before serving, hull 16 strawberries by removing the green calyx. 
Take 4 strawberries and cut the top of the strawberries off. 
These strawberries will be used as the center for the roses. 
For the remaining strawberries slice into 1/8: sections to use for the rose petals.
Begin arranging the sliced strawberries around the pudding making sure the ends of the slices are facing out and extend slightly beyon the rim of the glass. 
After the first circle of strawberries is placed, begin making a second circle of strawberries but position slightly more forward toward the center of the glass. 
Continue with a third layer. 

Once finished add the cut strawberry to the center and garnish with mint leaves. 
Serve immediately.

source: driscolls.com

Dishwasher Stops Working

January 29, 2014
10:49:00 AM

I can't seem to get my dishwasher to work.  It goes on and then shuts off.  It's full of spoons that I really don't want to get stuck washing by hand svn though we've had the dishwasher since day one, I haven't been using it because I don't get enough things to wash at the store so I just do everything by hand.  This time is different because there's so many of them I repeat, I don't want to get stuck doing them by hand.

My husband is going to check it out when he gets here.  We're wondering if the new commercial neighbour tapped into our breaker box downstairs when they installed their alarm system.

Patiently waiting, waiting, waiting...

Today's Thoughts & Vent About Being Called Wanna-Be's

Moved to it's new blog

Key To The Back Door

This entry was moved to its new blog

What selling my house has taught me

This was originally written in 2013 published on 1/27/14 and then moved to the new blog on January 30, 2014

Landlord Update

This entry was moved to it's new location

Thai Military Drill Performance