"NFL 2015" — A Bad Lip Reading of The NFL

Have you ever wondered what the players and coaches were saying on the field?
Wonder no more!  Here's some (bad) lip reading of what was(n't) really said

Dog Sitter: Once was more than enough

Knowing we had a long work day coming up, we hired a sitter for our two dogs so they wouldn't be left alone for an extended period.  Her instructions were to feed them, let them out to relieve themselves and give them some running and play time.  She didn't need to do anything else.

On our return after a long day at work, the dog sitter  gave us a detailed note of the day and then she was taken home.

The note was a detailed account of the day.  What time they ate, how long they slept, when they were put outside, etc.  It also included behavioural analysis of our puppies and an analysis and recommendation of our plants and trees.    

It was this detail that gave me another look into her psyche.   Even though I should have known she was a bit of a trouble maker when she babysat for another of her friends and proceeded to build a case against them as bad dog owners among their mutual friends and the neighbours, I still didn't get how methodical and conniving she can be.  Apparently in that case, she spoke to the neighbours who all agreed the people were "bad" dog owners.  I should have know she was dragging me into her scheme when she insisted that I stop over to meet the animals and then watched as I tried to get the large dog to stop jumping on me.

Back to the double sided note:  

10 ish - took walk around back w pups -> a little trouble w 'off'
10 30  - Chevy whined t go outside -> straight to pee -> definitely something up w his bladder | urinary tract
           - could not find a second chew bone - Chevy chewed on kennel door -> played w some sm pieces mulch outside
11           -  for some reason t pups are tired :)
11 10      - Chevy - pees a lot - & not just to mark territory - for t need t pee
- Chevy - has small scrape on back right paw, 2nd toe on end - maybe keep an eye on it
- paper airplanes - what are we supposed t do w them? asked Cashly
-> Chevy caught on right away - catch, bring back, loose
-> once Cashly caught on, she liked running for it
- I had popcorn - dogs begged, but I ≠ give any
- somebody has poop breath - but I won't hurt his feels.
- Cashly let Chevy have t bone for a while. aw.
- you have a Japanese beatle )beetle?) infestatn
-> tried t get rid of as many as possible.
-> they are (?) in a plastic container on table outside
2 50 pm - both pups -> HUNGRY! okay, okay.
- toilet runny - when I put pressure on t tank seal, it stops - so maybe that's all it is?
- all out of baby powder so used unscented baby powder (corn starch) instead

(flip side of page one)

- somebody misses his human, so he sat in my lap ...
- 8 pm -> they're full of piss & vinegar wt last hooray of t night.
-> after all day of no jumps - they started it up again - um, NO I say 'off'
8 40 - pups at front window, lookig for their humans.
9:45 - Cashy threw up
-> I can't find t rubber gloves or paper towels
-> found oiler paper in garage -> using it to clean up sea of puke.
10 10 - & t puke is all cleaned up & disposed of.
-> can't find any mont oil spray or air freshener or incense to make t smell go away
-> Cashy seems to be fine ->usual self - must have gorged on plants outside?